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Essay #5: Some harsh advice
This one is less essay and more a quick story I want to share. I actually posted it randomly this morning on X and realized it fits the theme of this project really well. These are the stone-cold morsels of wisdom I want to convey through these writings. The concepts and understandings and experiences and scars that became my building blocks, in hopes they can help some of you or someone you know. That’s the goal of this project; definitely the objective of its openness.
I was sitting at a small craft beer bar out on the beach once back in my boozing days, having met a buddy for happy hour. I had told the Mrs I was doing this, which was usually my style as the deception only digs holes deeper. But while I was there, chatting with my attorney friend at this small bar, she called me like 3 or 4 different times. I must have started bitching about it increasingly after I hung up each one. Reality is, this is what guys do together at bars over beers. But after the last time, I experienced a moment that was life shaping...
There had been this old griseled sailor looking guy sitting to my left. It was one of only two other people at this bar. There were other folks at the tables, but I mean the actual bar by the taps. He had been next to me the entire time my friend and I had been talking and I'm quite a talker, but he never said a word. He was dark and dreary; legit one of those guys who stares into his drink as he consumes it. I had noticed that, but didn’t have these thoughts much until after this happened. I guess I must have done some heavy bro beer whining after call #4 along the lines of "WTF my lady knows I'm here with you. Why is she calling me so many times? She knows exactly what I'm doing!". Dude turns to me and says the first and only words he spoke the entire night: “You know, it could be a whole lot worse. She could not give a shit where you are.” And with those two lines, he turned and looked right back into his drink.
That discreet little moment rattled me. Shook me good! In a good way, I mean. Damn, was that prophetic. Instead of getting all those nagging calls, I could be him. Never forget the life lesson in there, boys. I never did.